15 THINGS I'VE LEARNED BY 30
the dirty thirties...wow! words can't expressed how blessed I am but also, the excitement I have for this next decade! and while my eyes are set forward on the adventures to come I'm taking time to reflect on the valuable lessons I've learned these past years that I plan to put into action. I wanted to share these with you in hopes that they would encourage you no matter where you are in life. so here they are:
let it go
the self doubt, the negative self talk, the toxic relationship, the clothes that don't fit, even the comfort zone, all of it. just. let. it. go!
we've all been there, holding onto something that isn't serving us because it's what we know but, if it's not building you and/or those around you up, just chuck it. you don't need it, there's nothing for you there, and it definitely won't lead to the change, level up, growth, or glow up you're looking for.
there's so much beauty and joy that you deserve to experience if only you'll allow yourself to. It'll take strength, courage, and it WILL NOT be easy, but it's worth it. so please babygirl, please, let it go.
don't be afraid to try somethin' new
fear is a bitch ain't it? and it'll paralyze you if you let it. there are so many things you can say to talk yourself out of trying something. 'what if I'm not good at it?, 'what if I fail?'...etc. SO WHAT!? do it anyways.
let me tell you of one of the things that took me so long to make a move on because of fear... crossfit. It looks hard, intimidating, it's expensive, and everyone is always talking about how much people get hurt doing it. yikes...
It wasn't until a new local box that opened up was having a two month new years special that I decided to try it because then I could finally see if I liked it. If I didn't oh well, at least I can say I tried and I don't have to wonder anymore; but if I did, then I would buck up and budget for it monthly because at the end of the day, let's be honest, you can potentially get hurt doing anything.
a year and a half later I go 5-6 times per week, and have competed in an organized fit games. I've grown stronger, not just physically, but mentally; it's challenged me in ways that I would never challenge myself. I can lift heavier, run longer, jump higher, and push harder. and icing on the cake (pun intended) is that my booty wears my jeans quite well. :)
so in short... whatever you want to try, go for it because if it works out... great! but if it doesn't, you would've grown and learned something about yourself.
so either way, it's a win.
don't shrink yourself
how many times have you had an idea that seemed 'too' out there, 'too' crazy, 'too' unconventional for you? so you put it off and try not to think about it. *raises hand* me too!
this blog was something that was 'too' far out for me to start because I've never put myself out there on the internet but also, I struggled with the thought of 'what makes me different to reach and help people than what's already out there?'
sometimes we don't need other people to put us into a box, we put ourselves in one. but honey...you don't belong in a box, and neither do your ideas. we live in a modern world that thrives off creativity in all forms. it doesn't matter what may already be out there or what other people are already doing. you are unique so your idea will be unique even if it may sound similar to what's out there. don't talk yourself into society's idea of who you should be or what you should be doing. If you have a passion in your heart, go for it. as the saying goes 'don't give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about.'
live your truth
life's too short to live hidden; to not be who you are and love what or who you love. I know it's easier said than done to not care about other people's opinion of us because today it seems like people's opinions are all that matter. I mean people are getting paid just to express their opinions so they must carry weight, right? not if causes you to change who you are to 'fit in' or 'be normal'. you were made--from your personality, looks, outlook, down to your background and upbringing--with a purpose and destiny in mind, one that sets you apart from others. now that doesn't make you better, or worse, just different. and different is beautiful, even if it other people shun it. remember, people fear what they do not know. so help them overcome those fears by being unapologetically you; your bravery to stand apart and be yourself will be an inspiration and encouragement for others to do the same.
"now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance in what we do not see."--Hebrews 11:1
do you remember the times throughout life that things didn't turn out the way you imagined and that feeling of hopelessness filled you?... only for time to pass and everything turns out just fine even though it wasn't what you've planned?
as a woman who believes in Christ I have confidence that He has a plan for my life and is watching over me, directing my steps to fulfill that plan, even if it's not what I think it should look like. I know that He knows what's best and I have faith that He will see it through.
now you may not be religious, and that's perfectly fine but, that doesn't mean you can't have faith.
having faith is simply having confidence in someone or something; I encourage you to look forward to the future with confidence that everything will work out, even if you're currently in a season of struggle. life is not always on the mountain tops, but it's also not always in the valleys. so keep your head up, sometimes the future is not what we expect...it's better!
keep your inner child alive
when we get older, get a 'real' job, start paying bills, responsibilities, you know...adulting, sometimes it's like all of a sudden we become so serious. we're so focused on the hustle that we forget to sit back, laugh, and enjoy the simple things; our playfulness leaves us. but honestly, that's so draining. have you ever just looked at the joy in a child? perfectly happy doing basically nothing, easily amused by almost anything...we used to be like that! and just because we're older doesn't mean we have to let all of that go. playfulness can help bring life back into our tired, weary hearts.
so whatever it is that sparks your childlike joy, hold on to it! for me it's watching cartoons in the morning while I'm eating breakfast or laying on the couch in my mermaid blanket. :)
we all have a reusable water bottle...fill it and actually drink from it
I could sit here all day and preach about how important it is to stay hydrated but I'll keep it brief. LOL! drinking water doesn't just help during workouts, it's essential in skin health, organ health, and cell health. our bodies are 60% water so let's just give it what it needs.
but more importantly there's no reason for us to be drinking from plastic bottles anymore. just as much as we need to take care of ourselves, we need to take care of our home and each of us can make a difference by eliminating how much waste we produce that's causing this poor planet to heat up and break down. so let's all do our part, not just for the present, but for the future.
if it ain't broke...fix it before it is
I cannot stress this enough...PREVENTION IS KEY! the key to everything, wrinkles, pain, disease, cavities...everything. so wash your face twice a day and don't go to sleep with your makeup on, exfoliate, moisturize, wear sunscreen, and use eye cream.
exercise regularly and make sure to warm up before you workout and stretch afterwards. get a massage every once and a while, and if that's not feasible or available to you become best friends with a foam roller and lacrosse ball and use them often.
brush twice a day and for goodness sake, floss. we are too old to not listen to our dentists! eat fruits and veggies, good fats, omega-3s and slow digesting carbs, drink water, limit sugar and alcohol, and please find ways to de-stress.
If we take care of our bodies and minds, they will take care of us.
do somethin' for you at least 30 minutes to an hour per day
speaking of de-stressing...LOL! stress can have some pretty detrimental effects to both our physical and mental health if we don't make sure we take time to unwind and decompress. so we MUST prioritize 'me' time. those 30 minutes to read in the morning or that hour long workout in the afternoon go far beyond just the action if it can allow you to disconnect from the world, not worry about the to-do lists, schedules, meetings and the like. If you can truly be present in that moment, that's true self-care. and as you care for yourself it will fill you with the capacity to care for everything and everyone else around you.
have AT LEAST one 'bad bitch' item
a bad bitch is a confident woman who knows what she wants, how to get it, carries herself with self-respect, and is fine as hell. and I don't care what anybody says...you are a bad bitch. now that doesn't mean you always FEEL like the baddy you are. some days you feel confident and others you feel like you're getting run all over. some days you like what you see in your reflection and other days you'd rather put sheets over all the mirrors in the house. It's life, and I understand that, but we should always have something handy to help us out of our rut and get us in our true bad bitch character. and that can be a variety of different things, an outfit, accessory, something from your make up drawer, it could even be your briefcase to be honest. whatever it is, pull it out and strut around with it as a reminder that you are strong and can handle anything.
for me it's BIG hoop earrings, red lipstick, and stilettos. :)
happiness is a choice, not a circumstance
how often have we put expectations and almost limits on our happiness throughout life? "I'll be happier once I get a raise."...or "a bigger house"...or "a new job"...or "boyfriend/girlfriend". I've been there plenty of times, trust me. In my experience I've found that happiness really has nothing to do with anything materialistic or situational. If we find fault and misery with what we have now, best believe we'll find it with what we have later. we need to learn to be content with where we are in life because life is ever-changing and if we're relying on something or someone external to make us happy, it's going to disappoint more often than not. now this doesn't mean we can't have goals or strive for anything more, but we need to appreciate where we were, and where we are now so then, we can appreciate where we're going.
with yourself, with others, with life, with everything. this was probably one of the hardest lessons for me to learn. to be real, I still struggle with it. It's a work in progress but it's getting better. I've found myself getting anxious when things take longer than expected, wondering "what went wrong?", "why are they taking so long?", "why can't it just happen already?" the need for instant gratification can be a real joy killer. the constant want for 'right now' adds so much unnecessary stress into our lives. It causes us to rush into things and make rash decisions that we'll regret later and...is it really worth it?
sometimes things will take a little bit longer and that perfectly ok, we just need to have faith, let go of the expectations, and go with the flow.
even when you don't want to be, or think that people don't deserve your kindness, be kind anyways. It doesn't matter if it's at home or at work. we live in a world that has people convinced that passive aggression is the key to success but I challenge you to go against the grain. a simple act of kindness can change someone's day. a smile for the secretary who is overwhelmed, a compliment for the tired new mom with bags under her eyes, a cup of coffee for the homeless man on the corner. it may seem insignificant, but we don't know what people are going through so that short moment of kindness could be what they need to get through the day. :)
don't compare yourself to anyone else
oscar wilde said it best, "be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
we have a nasty habit of taking people that we want to be like and putting them on pedestals, and then get disappointed when we don't measure up. but the reality is, we never will. all of this spurs from a lack of self love which leads us to feeling like we're not enough.
news flash: YOU ARE ENOUGH!
from your hair follicles to your toe nails. you don't need to be anyone else. your uniqueness is needed in this world. there is no one else like you so don't spend all your time trying to be someone else when you're exactly who you're meant to be at this moment, and where you need to be in your journey.
don't miss out on the beauty of YOU!
and finally laugh hard, but love harder
in life we will experience so many things; from heartache and failure to happiness and joy. I encourage you to not let the lows in life to harden your heart and steal the light from your eyes. may you embrace the challenges and learn from the mistakes. and remember, laughter is the best medicine and love is the closest thing to magic we will ever experience; so laugh freely and love passionately.
thanks so much for reading and I hope this helps you with the ebbs and flows of this thing called life.
feel free to hit me up if you have any questions! <3